Hmm. I have to delete the link away as the blog owner removed the blog. Should have copy and past the whole entry here although I prefer to link to it rather than copy it here.What a waste!
Oh! The blog is back!
The url is http://malorg.blogspot.com/
For those you don’t know, the title is Spanish and translated to English, it is Organization Who works incorrectly.
The blog reproduced below. Credit to the original poster.
some strategies for asking people to leave your organisation (on their own accord):
- if your company premises takes up a large compound and has a number of gates, close all gates and just leave the one that is most inconvenient for the people to reach the nearest bus stop (eg, make them take a big detour to reach the bus stop). you can try not to make it too obvious by opening up a side gate but order it to be closed after 9pm. in this way, you can punish those who work over time. some of the excuses you can use: for security, save operational costs etc.
- install a turnstile (with a normal gate) at the side gate and ensure the width of the turnstile is good enough only for an average build person through. with this, those who are plump will be insulted (dont want them in the company anyway since productivity may not be high). those who carry notebooks home (to act busy) can also be deterred as they will get knocks as they pass through the turnstile. if you have a guard before the turnstile is erected and still have him around after it is erected, then you wont be able to say you want to save operational costs. just say you need maximum security. same theory as a solar powered torchlight. oh, remember to get a guard who is unfeeling, so that no matter how many bags and how heavy the things a person is carrying, he wont let the person through the normal gate. the guard should look sloppy, usually rest his weight on one foot and scans every good-looking female employee from head to toe (can't blame him for doing his job although on females only). best part is, when it is raining heavily and the person forgets to bring his employee pass for scanning to go through the turnstile, refuse him entry and ask him to walk (in the rain with whatever he is carrying) for 20 min through the main gate and detour back to the office building so that he can ask for a temporary pass at the lobby. many benefits there are. the reduced-size turnstile (with employee pass scanning control) will create beelines of employees at the gate every morning. will not fail to rekindle one's thought about making the move.
- make the lifts buzz (to make believe that it is overloaded) even though there are less than 6 persons in the lift (when the lift can take 12). the lift will stop at every level during peak hours and buzz when a person enters. embarrassed those wanting to enter will be and frustrated those already inside the lift will be. adopting a lousy lift system also helps. for eg, during peak hours, make sure all lifts rise and fall at almost the same time (your building has to be tall to see the effect). also, implement strange lift service schemes (such as only serve 15 floors and above during peak hours) in a manner such that when during switch-over times, pressing the lift button at certain floors will never get you the lift that will get you to your floor. this may sound complex. you can buy consultancy to help implement this. outsourcing is key.
- dont let people enter via the main entrance to their offices (esp just after lunch). make them walk the distance and go by the side doors. possible only with centrally controlled card access control mechanisms.
- if your bonuses are given out in 2 portions (eg, mid year and year end), consolidate and give out during mid year. let those who have the intention to leave, to stop waiting and leave in peace. during the switch, people will also have to pay more tax...no concern anyway.
- give meagre salary increments (or no increments at all). but tell people that you have benchmarked with other commercial practices. oh ya, retain those earning good salaries but doing a normal job (no value creation, value addition, strictly 9-5, dont bother about company/department outings/events, changes in policies, "just dont come bother me" attitude etc). those energetic and earning a lowly pay (esp fresh graduates) bursting with ideas, innovation and enthusiasm will see red and pack up.
- worships scholars only and treats normal employees normal. only right that you do this because scholars are usually bonded. normal employees can just leave. and remember not to care about why your employee turnover rate is high. it is no one's fault.
- disallow use of camera phones within company premises after camera phones have become the norm and you have been allowing it all this while. most effective if a corporate mobile phone roadshow has just ended and mostly camera phones were available.
